THE SHORT STOP, 1455 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90026
LE: So there's the dance room behind us, I guess they only have DJ's on the weekends. Over there is kinda the lounge area with the pool table and photo booth. Wanna go chill over there?
MARY: Nah, I like it here. I'm the sit-at-the-bar type of person.
LE: Oh great, so we're gonna be two single friends sitting at a quiet bar on a Monday night, wallowing in our pains and sorrows.
MARY: Yup, cuz I swear I am totally dead down there.
LE: Whatever! Anyway, how many days you staying?
MARY: I don't know, a few, depends on how much you have to show me.
LE: You're not even gonna give me any time to recover from the holidays, are you?
MARY: Nope! In fact, take me to Dodger Stadium after this. I wanna try to break in.
LE: Okay it's just down the street anyway.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010, 8:24PM:
BRITE SPOT, 1918 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90026
LE: It's kinda funny we're back in Echo Park. The bar we went to last night is down the street.
MARY: Quit trying to change the subject! I was trying to ask you about your ho's.
LE: What ho's?
MARY: Don't you have any prospects? What happened with that girl from New Year's?
LE: Didn't you read my email? She slipped out of my hands.
MARY: Aw, when you tried to profess your love to her?
LE: No, when I tried to grab her ass. She literally slipped out of my hands when I did that.
MARY: Well I don't think it had anything to do with the granny kiss you gave her. I think it was cuz you were competing with a Mua Thai fighter afterward.
LE: I guess so. We've been texting and she says her drunk ass doesn't even remember we kissed.
MARY: Oh my, you got a pic of her?
LE: Yeah, and that's me not doing a very good job at throwing up an LA sign.
LE: So you see she's leaning against Siphal, not me. I think he was trying to pull a reverse SYB on me. I think they all were.
MARY: A reverse SYB?
LE: Yeah, when you think you're gonna SYB someone, but then you get SYB-ed yourself. It's almost like a double interception.
MARY: I thought you don't even like Asian girls.
LE: Sheeeeit, at this point, I'll take whatever I can get.
MARY: Oh.
LE: Wait, don't tell any girls I told you that.
MARY: Okay.
LE: Anyway, let's get the check. There's probably a show starting at 9.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010, 11:36PM:
iOWEST THEATRE, 6366 Hollywood Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90028
MARY: So this rock band guy came up to me outside and asked me for a cigarette.
LE: Yeah there's always Hollywood-type artists and musicians walking around this area. You thought he was hot, eh?
MARY: Yeah but what's the point? Even if I started talking to him, nothing would've happened.
LE: Why not?
MARY: I already told you, I am completely dead down there. In a year, you're probably gonna be attending my pussy funeral.
LE: You'd invite me to your pussy funeral? But I've never even been close with your pussy.
MARY: It's okay. You're like a friend of the family.
LE: Well thanks. That's too bad though. I mean with me, my penis is just coming alive. In fact, I was going to invite you to its baptism.
MARY: Whatever, let's go to another bar.
LE: Oh geez, I'm hosting the Energizer Bunny here.
MARY: You're my ho-st.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010, 12:55AM:
THE DRAFT, 12430 Riverside Dr., Studio City, CA 91607
LE: Mary, you know what we need to do? Look at that table over there. They're partying their hearts out. From now on, every time we get depressed, just think about people like that. I mean if midgets can be happy, there's no reason you and I can't be.
MARY: But we're only like three inches taller than those midgets.
LE: Bitch, why you gotta shit on my parade like that!!!???
Wednesday, January 6, 2010, 2:13AM:
LE'S HOME, 516 E. Cedar Ave., Burbank, CA 91501
MARY: I'm so excited about the spa.
LE: Me too. When are you gonna drive back to the Bay?
MARY: Probably the day after tomorrow.
LE: So tomorrow will be our last night together. Hmmm, you know, you don't kick in your sleep as much as you said you would.
MARY: Eh, you just got lucky with that. Usually I toss and turn.
LE: No, you've slept in one position the whole time: on your side facing away from me.
MARY: Well yeah, cuz I more than made up for not kicking by farting on you the other night.
LE: Fuck, is that what that was? No wonder I felt so warm all of a sudden.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010, 8:02PM:
WI SPA, 2700 Wilshire Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90057
LE: "Oh Clemetine. I could die right here. I'm just so... happy."
MARY: What the fuck are you talking about?
LE: You've never seen Eternal Sunshine?
MARY: I don't know, but even if I have, I wouldn't understand what you were saying.
LE: Mary, why you gotta ruin the moment again?
MARY: What moment?
LE: The moment of chemistry between us. Don't deny it. Our passion is so strong that your face is turning pink and you're sweating all over.
MARY: Le, I'm pink and sweaty because we've been lying in a 140 degree sauna for the past twenty minutes.
LE: Oh yeah, that's right.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010, 8:35PM:
WI SPA, 2700 Wilshire Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90057
LE: Aaahhh, I think this is my favorite sauna.
MARY: Me too. I feel like I'm in some magical room.
LE: Do you think that's cuz of the sparkly colorful rocks everywhere, or cuz of the weed cookie we ate an hour ago?
Wednesday, January 6, 2010, 9:29PM:
WI SPA, 2700 Wilshire Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90057
MARY: This was the only spa in Koreatown I could find that had a co-ed floor, and its own restaurant.
LE: Yup, we can actually hang out together here. Otherwise, I'd be stuck downstairs bathing and showering with elderly Korean men all night.
MARY: I didn't even go in the women's area. I was too paranoid. That cookie got me, damn it!
LE: Oh you missed out. It was so refreshing down there.
MARY: And what's up with all these families? They even have a children's area up here.
LE: You know what I noticed? Besides you and that other white girl and the white guy she's with, and I'm Chinese, everyone here is Korean.
MARY: I knew you would point that out.
LE: Cuz you know I'm a racially conscious individual?
MARY: No, cuz I know you have a fetish for white girls.
LE: Listen, I'm just saying this place is cool cuz you get to be submerged in Korean culture. I mean did you see that big ass shelf they have? There is probably over a thousand comic books on there.
MARY: I don't know why you're so excited about their book selection when neither of us can read Korean. But yeah I know what you mean cuz I can't stop watching these shows on the flatscreens. I'm totally addicted to this drama right now.
LE: Oh yeah that chick is hot.
MARY: Well that's not a chick. That's just a skinny, uber metro Korean guy with long hair.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010, 10:43PM:
WI SPA, 2700 Wilshire Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90057
LE: What are you doing? Are you just gonna nap?
MARY: Yeah, indefinitely. It's open 24 hours, so we can spend the whole damn night here if we wanted.
LE: Shit, you're really trying to get your 25 dollars' worth, eh? Fuck I'm so restless. I've been running around this place for the past hour. That cookie got me too.
MARY: What are you eating, another donut? Geez, that's your fourth one.
LE: Yup, I got the munchies! Fuck it, I'm gonna go use the computers, maybe do some writing.
LE: I'm gonna start blogging about this place while it's still fresh in my mind.
MARY: Yeah, while that cookie's still good. Have fun!
LE: See you in a bit!
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